It’s gradually becoming more acceptable for atheists in America to admit their non-belief. If you’re a person of faith, you may suddenly find yourself with a friend, co-worker or family member who is not the religious person you had always assumed.

But there’s no reason you can’t have just as healthy a relationship with your atheist friend as you did before he showed his true colors. It’ll just take a little time to adjust. Here’s a list of dos and don’ts to help you through the transition:

1. Be respectful. Atheism isn’t a lack of belief (that’s nihilism). On the contrary, atheism is born out of a strong belief in strict reason. Respect that the atheist indeed has a belief system… it’s just different from yours.

2. Don’t warn him. If you’re truly worried that your acquaintance is going to get struck by lightning, just keep your distance, so you don’t end up as collateral damage. There’s no point in warning him, because he’s not going to believe you anyway.

3. Don’t tell him you’re sorry for him. Possibly the most disrespectful thing you can say when finding out someone is an atheist is “I’m so sorry for you.” Expect him to be just as offended as you would if someone pitied you for being a person of faith.

4. People don’t “stumble” into atheism, or get hit on the head and suddenly forget about God. The culture at large is religious, so deciding to buck the system takes a conscious choice. Recognize that the person you’re dealing with has probably given more thought to his beliefs than the average citizen.

5. Socialize on neutral ground. No matter how pure your intentions, any attempt to invite an atheist to your church, temple, mosque, or house of worship for a “social gathering” may be viewed as suspect. If you really want to involve him in something social, do it in a place that cannot be perceived as even remotely related to religion.

6. Don’t try to engage an atheist in a logical argument about faith. Logic is the atheists playground. He has more experience here than you.

7. He’s not lost or unhappy. You may find direction and fulfillment in your spiritual beliefs, but that doesn’t mean everyone who doesn’t hold the same beliefs is without those things. We’re all different. Along these lines, don’t try to tell an atheist that he is truly unhappy, but just doesn’t know it yet because he hasn’t found God. That’s likely to offend him.

8. If you choose to discuss your faith with an atheist, never ask the question “If you don’t believe in God, then where did we all come from?” Although this might make a lot of sense to you, it makes you look ridiculous to an atheist. He’s perfectly comfortable not concluding that “it must be God.” Furthermore, he will view your question as an admission that the only reason you believe in God is because you can’t bear to tangle with the existential questions which have intrigued mankind since we became self-aware, so you’ll take any explanation you can get.

9. Atheists are people too. Even if you believe he’s going to hell, you can still treat him nicely while he’s here on earth.

10. Don’t try to convert him. You may believe that it’s your calling, but you’ll have far better luck with someone who has never really considered his faith than with a person who openly refers to himself as an atheist. That’s why missionaries go to Africa.

11. Recognize that “faith” is frequently in opposition to “reason”. A person of faith may certainly act in an entirely reasonable manner, but in any specific decision, one can decide to take a certain path because he has “reasoned” it’s the right thing to do, or because he has “faith”. As motivations, they’re mutually exclusive. So, if you tell an atheist that you do something because you “just have faith”, or even that HE should have faith, you’re speaking counter to his very belief system. Don’t expect him to understand how you feel or follow your prescription. Just move on.

12. Don’t confuse spirituality with morality. They have very little to do with each other. Some of the most moral people in the world are atheists and some of the most brutal have been deeply religious. Plenty of people learn right and wrong perfectly well from their families and communities without the need for interpretations of ancient texts.

13. Don’t try to get the atheist to “see the light.” Can you think of a time when somebody has done or said something really disrespectful to you, and then tried do justify it by claiming, “I’m only trying to help.”? Most of us find that annoying because we didn’t ask for help. Atheists are not asking for help.

14. If you’re really struggling with the idea of not sharing your faith, consider this… Was there a time when you yourself had little faith, or perhaps even none? Religion has surrounded all of us for most of our lives, but at some point, you “found” it. Perhaps that’s when you personally were ready to receive it. If you are tempted to transform the atheist, it may help to just imagine that he’s not yet ready.

15. For all the talk about the denigrating of religion in our society, the majority of people in the US still consider themselves religious. God is mentioned in the pledge of allegiance, on our money, in the courthouse, and frequently by the President himself. So remember, yours is the position of the majority, and thereby the position of power. The atheist is making the choice to be part of the minority, and is often persecuted for it. Keep that in mind.