This is a tribute to a true companion.

Bandi was my dog, but more than that, he was my companion through trying times and interesting adventures. He passed away on the afternoon of February 11th, 2009 at a veterinary clinic where we live in Panama City. He was 11 years old.

What happened?

Bandi got very sick in December of 2008, and an ultrasound revealed a large mass in his small intestine. The surgery to remove it actually went quite well, but the poor guy was already so weak that he stopped breathing shortly afterwards. Despite his age, tests results indicated that, had he survived the recovery, he probably would have had a good amount of time left.

I was with him for his final moments, and I think he knew that.

Where did Bandi come from?

Bandi was found in the street as a tiny, excitable, incontinent puppy by a man who worked for my grandmother. When he arrived at my grandmother’s house, long a home for wayward dogs, she named him Bandi because he had been “abandoned.”

A Jewish grandmother’s solution to everything is food, so Bandi grew a lot while living with her. Within a few short years, he tipped the scales at a chunky 96 pounds. He was also afraid to leave the house.

Why was Bandi so special?

Bandi was more than a dog. He was part of the family.

To understand the role he played in my life, you have to understand the history. And by that, I mean the history starting long before Bandi arrived on the scene.

My grandmother was a towering presence in my life that I still feel daily. When her health was failing, I  helped care for her, and before she passed away at 99 years old, she asked me if I would take care of her two dogs.

The older dog, Michael, passed away a couple years later, oddly of exactly the same heart condition that had taken my grandmother. Bandi and I became even more attached after that.

Little by little, the various people who helped care for my grandmother left the household too. Then my relationship with my girlfriend of four years ended and she also moved out. Eventually, only Bandi and I remained.

A few months later, we moved to a new house, and 10 months after that, we moved to Costa Rica. We shared three different houses with my friend Shaun there, and Bandi even made some dog friends on the beach (a rarity for him).

After a year, I decided to pick up and move farther south to Panama City, where I knew nobody. Once again, the only consistent element was Bandi.

On the rare occasions that I’d leave the house without him, people would ask “Where’s Bandi?” I think some people didn’t even recognize me without him. As of this writing, it’s been a month since he passed and people are still asking.

Over the years, there have been friends, relatives, girlfriends, housemates, traveling companions and neighbors. For one reason or another, as often happens in life, they have all come and gone. But Bandi was my constant companion and my last daily connection to my grandmother.

What was Bandi like?

Bandi was really more like a young child than a dog.

In fact, he wasn’t much of a dog at all. He couldn’t catch a ball to save his life, wouldn’t run up to greet you, knew very few tricks and despised almost all other dogs. His idea of playing fetch was to slowly make his way to the object in question, gently pick it, then saunter to a secure corner and quietly commune with it. He liked to be pet for a few minutes, after which he’d simply go sit somewhere else. He was afraid of the freezer and things that sizzled.

If I dropped the leash while walking him, he’d just stop in his tracks and wait for me to pick it up again before taking another step. He didn’t like when I took off his collar. Generally speaking, he wouldn’t take food from strangers.

Bandi was extremely mellow, except when confronted with a cat, an unknown dog of any size or gender, or a motorcycle. Faced with any of those stimuli, he would instantly turn into the scariest growling, snarling aggressive beast you can imagine. It would shock even people who knew him well.

He would bark at the doorbell, even if it came out of the TV and sounded nothing like the doorbell to our house.

Bandi was very sensitive. If you gently asked him to do something, he’d do it without hesitation. But if you raised your voice, he’d get scared and sulk, as if to say, “Please don’t yell at me.”

He loved to have his chest and belly scrubbed. His back too.

Strangers were scared of Bandi, especially in Panama, which is something I don’t think he ever understood. Lucy, my other dog, will run up to any person, tail wagging, with a big happy grin on her face, and get all kinds of love and attention. Seeing this, Bandi would sheepishly approach the same person to receive similar affection, but invariably, the person would retreat in fear, all the while continuing to pet Lucy. That always made me feel bad for him.

He loved turkey. There was no other food that could actually get Bandi to sit up and beg. While he was sick, I bought a whole turkey breast and roasted it up for him.

It is said that you can’t teach an old dog new tricks, but nobody told that to Bandi. He was entirely untrained at 5 years old, but after two weeks of work, which included three visits from the trainer, he was done: completely obedient, respectful and demonstrably proud of knowing what to do. Over the course of one week in Costa Rica, Shaun taught him to “fist bump” Tico-style.

I spoke to Bandi in complete sentences, just as I would to a person. He was an amazing listener. In fact, I sometimes even called him “Bandi the Listener”. That was just one of his many nicknames, given to him by various people. Here’s just a sampling:

Bandushka, Bandush, Dush, Bandu, Bandu-koo-koo, koo-koo, kooky, kooky-boy, the boy, the big boy, the big woof, big love, big guy, the big dog, the large canine, Bandalino, Bandalore, Bandikins, Bandido, el lobo, Loby, el oso celoso, Bob Barker and el matapasto (it’s funny in Panama).

But beyond all the history, nicknames and idiosyncrasies, Bandi was my best friend. The house feels empty without him.

The people who loved him

So many people affected Bandi’s life over the years that it’s hard to keep track of them. Shaun, Lyena and Dean all lived with and cared for Bandi at various times. Bob, Nicole, Karmen and Christina bonded with him when I traveled.

Being so removed from our traditional support system down here, there are some people who just must be thanked for helping Bandi through his last two months.

Because I was out of the country when he took ill over Christmas, Kira was Bandi’s lifeline. She went way beyond the call of duty, caring for Bandi as if he were her own and keeping me up to date all along the way. I have no doubt that she saved his life while I was gone.

Joyce was my angel. During the toughest times, whether I needed someone to watch over Lucy while I cared for Bandi, or just someone to talk through the tough decisions that come along with being responsible for another person’s life, Joyce was always there for me.

Adela cared for Bandi like a son from the moment she started working here, making sure he had everything he needed when I wasn’t around, cleaning up his occasional messes, and even feeding him by hand when necessary.

Lyena and I cried together over the tough decisions and rejoiced over the small victories. She and Dean also saved my skin with work when caring for Bandi was taking up all my time.

Rachel lent more than her expertise and advice. She showed infinite patience with my barrage of questions and disorganized record-keeping, never once losing her caring nature. I know that she felt a special connection with Bandi as more than just a veterinarian.

Dra. Carmen Solis, Dra. Sandra Rios and her father, and everyone at Cats & Dogs Care Center and Mundo Animal were absolutely wonderful and patient with Bandi, Lucy and me. They all far exceeded my expectations.

I share this loss with all of these people, and all of you who are reading this.

Comments

Some comments people sent me upon hearing the news of Bandi’s passing…

My sister Judy: “…it’s a sad end to a tie to our past. I will miss the connection and know that you will miss the companionship.”

Kira: “I loved Bandi and will miss him sincerely. He was a very special presence to be around.”

Cousin Jay: “He really was a unique animal. He was a dog who actually had an awareness of and appreciation for his life, and for the people around him.”

Marion: “Bandi was one of the most amazing dogs ever. Truly, truly.”

Cory: “He had SUCH a great life. First with your grandmother and then with you.”

Cousin Tom: “He was a sweet guy and Grandma loved him so.”

Shaun: “That breaks my heart.”

My dad: “…he was more of a good friend than just a pet.”

My brother Dan: “What a great dog. Companion to you and grandma, world traveler, nice guy. He had a great life, albeit too short.”

If you have any Bandi stories you’d like to share, please add a comment below.